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Pastor Philip Wagner of Oasis LA preached a sermon on Friendship a couple weeks ago which I felt was very insightful. I have been meaning to share this with you all for a while now, but couldn’t quite figure out how indepth I wanted to go with this topic and if at all I wanted to share my views on this. I have decided to simply share a summary of this sermon as I concur with all that was said.


Friends influence the direction and quality of our lives. Hence, it is necessary to recognize friendship guidelines (healthy vs. unhealthy relationships). Acceptance of people leads to influence. Friendship equals acceptance which in turn equals influence. Therefore, it is important to make friends with poeple who have similar values as you do. Friends should celebrate who you are and accept you for who you are.


  1. He/She is has a genuine interest in you. i.e there is no hidden agenda. A friend is not there to “take” from you…. he/she cares and loves you just because of who you are and not for personal gain. A friend has your best interest at heart.
  2. He/She is authentic. A friend does not downplay their values or expect you to. A friend remains true to their character regardless of who they are with or where they are.
  3. He/She is Loyal.


One must understand the importance of being able to manage the different levels of friendships. Managing trust and access is the key to protecting yourself from hurt and developing long lasting friendships and knowing where to place the “fiends.”

The Bull’s Eye Analogy – Imagine you are the target, and friends are the circles that surround you. Managing which circle to place the people who come into your life is key. Place your closest friends in the innermost circle. This should comprise of those who have similar values as you do. Those friends you are completely at ease with, those friends who genuinely care for you. Those friends you call when you need to be told the truth. The friends placed in your innermost circle are the ones you give access to your heart, these are the friends you trust. These are the friends who are loyal to you.

Place your not so close friends in the outer circle. Those friends who do not necessary share similar values as you do, but make you laugh, and are fun to hang around with, but you know you cannot confide in them. They like you and you like them, but they may not necessarily bring value to your life. Let’s call these people acquaintances. The outermost circle should comprise of the crowd. The random people you come across.

“Do not invest in a friendship that is an emotional mine field. Friendship should be easy” – Pastor Philip Wagner

No man is an island. Make a friend today, but do so carefully!


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One Thought on “Friendship

  1. June on July 5, 2012 at said:

    Very direct and true. Friendship should be easy. You should be able to be yourself around your friend and not feel like you’re going to be judged.

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